3. connecting with a friend of a friend’s ex. We’re a fierce lesbian group.

3. connecting with a friend of a friend’s ex. We’re a fierce lesbian group.

We don’t treatment in the event that girl you love try a pal of a friend of a pal of a buddy of a buddy. If she’s in any way tethered to a dyke you care about, stay far, far off.

Upset among all of us, angry all of us, baby.

(I’m sure, i understand. They sucks. This is the reason I prefer up to now long-distance; there wasn’t local baggage to strain over.)

4. trustworthy a f*ckboi.

If she looks like a Shane, speaks like a Shane, and walks like a Shane, odds are she’s a Shane.

5. Assuming that because she’s a girl, it’s impossible for her are a f*ckboi .

We don’t care if she’s a butch, a femme, a stalk, a stud, a lipstick lesbian, a mascara lesbian or a chapstick lesbian—just because she’s a self-identified woman does not mean she can’t feel a f*ckboi. F*ckbois come in all structures, models, and designs.

6. starting up with a bartender of the best bar.

It will eventually break apart and obtain awkward and you, my sweet darling, will never be capable enter your favorite pub once more, without needing to A) pop music a Xanax (that’s an awful tip if you’re taking) or B) need three tequila images (which can be a bad tip typically).

7. U-Hauling.

I promised me i’d never be the lesbian whom u-hauled until I became the lesbian exactly who u-hauled. Now I’m the lesbian who may have formally never lasted a lease http://www.datingrating.net/vegan-dating/.

8. finalizing leases against my personal best view.

Talking about leases, the amount of times I’ve dutifully finalized that godforsaken dotted line whenever my instincts were shouting “Don’t get it done! This bitch was outrageous!” is actually unfortunate, as you would expect.

9. Wearing my girlfriend’s leggings.

“Are your wearing my leggings?!” My gf mouthed for me after arriving late to a yoga course. I happened to be in downward dog attempting to center myself. “What’s the problem?” We mouthed straight back.

“We can’t show leggings! It’s unsexy!” She said out loud, startling the Republican lady relaxing in child’s pose to the woman left.

In all honesty, she’s right. Sharing leggings could be the gateway medicine to peeing utilizing the door open. Therefore understand, every time you pee making use of the doorway open before your own sweetheart, a lesbian angel seems to lose the girl wings.

10. wear my girlfriend’s trousers (without inquiring).

Once you begin getting into troubles for dressed in your girlfriend’s $300 developer trousers without inquiring, you are nearing sibling standing.

The girlfriend will cry at you love you’re her annoying little cousin exactly who steals each one of this lady good crap. Whenever — god forbid — you happen to check much better than she does in her own jeans, well, pretty soon she’ll starting thinking of you as the lady annoying small cousin whom steals all of the woman close shit. There is nothing beautiful regarding the girlfriend associating their more youthful brother.

It’s a guaranteed way to have never gender once again.

11. utilizing my personal girlfriend’s brush.

Once you begin discussing a toothbrush, you drop the character completely. Before long you’ll come to be those types of weird lesbian couples which have morphed in to the exact same people. Preserve your individuality, and use a toothbrush, please and thank you.

12. Flirting using my ex-girlfriend’s buddies.

It’s an inexpensive excitement, but trust in me. It’s awful karma.

13. Telling my personal girl that the girl buddy ended up being flirting beside me.

In the event your girlfriend’s buddy was slightly flirting with you, simply pretend she’s becoming extremely friendly and not, actually drunkenly tell your girlfriend.

Until you want to be in the middle of this lesbian crisis, which. Which, yes, may be fun for 5 minutes, but quickly gets, uh, terrifying…

14. modifying my personal girlfriend’s design.

Should you decide inform your girlfriend she appears sexier in blazers than she does in panel short pants, she will resent you for the rest of your own commitment.

Simply keep the throat shut and accept your girl when it comes down to board-short-sporting lesbian that she’s, OR find a traditional blazer-wearing girlfriend. Because recall: you can’t switch board short pants into a blazer, regardless of how frustrating your sample.

(you could, for all the record, change a housewife into a ho).

15. creating articles about becoming an insane girl on the internet.

Not just posses we created posts describing exactly what a crazy bitch I am, but I’ve already been pissed off whenever women I’m freshly dating trust I’m an insane bitch. “Really, performedn’t you reveal they on the internet?” They’ll inquire.

Touch e . Touch e .

16. Pretending to know what lesbian intercourse is as I didn’t come with hint.

“Of training course I’m sure exactly what lesbian sex was. It’s when um, you understand. Like, whenever a girl will get along with a girl…”

17. Pretending I understood tips scissor while I didn’t come with idea.

“i enjoy scissoring!” I yelped at years 16 as I planning scissoring meant undertaking arts and crafts together.

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